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Loving My Life... Not Hers...Or Hers

I recently did a housekeeping/purge of sorts. Not of the home I live in, but of my social media accounts.

The impetus? A 'Real Housewife' (the city doesn't matter).

I was perusing my Instagram feed and realized that for the 5th time in a week, 'Housewife X' was selling something. I found myself annoyed because it occured to me that the only things this particular housewife ever posts to her feed were new clothing items available for sale in her retail shop.

Anyway, I decided to scroll back through her Instagram feed to confirm whether I was imagining this phenomena or not. A quick scan of about 1 years worth of posts confirmed that with the exception of 2-3 posts about her hubby/new baby, everything else she "shared" with her followers was about personal care, body care, or clothing items. All of which were available for sale. In fact, I couldn't help but notice several other fans commenting that they were "going to go broke" because they kept buying new outfits she'd promoted.

woman stares at computer screen.


Suddenly I realized I had helped make this woman even wealthier. I felt like a sheep. Her Instagram feed said, "buy, buy, BUY" and each time I paused to read a post, it was as if I was saying, "baah, baah, BAAH." I unsubscribed immediately and then went through each of my social media channels and culled the list of people I follow.

Its just social media. Does it matter?

Yes. It does matter. Don't get me wrong. This is not meant to bash any of the "The Real Housewives" or any of their business endeavors. I'm not blaming this woman for using reality TV and her Instagram feed to sell stuff. I just realized my social media feeds should add value to my life and not her life. The only way to do that is to be deliberate about what I'm consuming. I want to be intentional about engaging in things that honor me, my marriage, and my lifestyle. Posts from this particular individual did not do any of those things. So, I've started asking myself the following when it comes to social media:

  1. What's my relationship to this person?
  2. Are her/his posts beneficial to me and my life? 


In all honesty, I still love reality TV. It's fun and entertaining, so its useful. I still like 'Housewife X.' I think she's talented and beautiful. I enjoy seeing how she navigates her life - as a wife, mother and a mogul. I love her business savvy and her sense of style. That day I just realized I can admire her, while being intentional about my interactions with her. Social media, like other social interactions, must be benefit me. If it doesn't add value, then I'm removing it from my feed.

Less Stuff = More Time + More Money

When we relocated from Seattle to the Bay Area, we cut the square footage of our house in half. I'm quite sure I gave away enough clothing for 3+ women and enough furniture for an entire 2nd home in the following weeks. The funny thing is, once I'd gotten over the initial shock of the purge, I found it liberating to have less stuff. This new breathing room has moved beyond the virtual world to my actual life. Now, before I bring anything home, I ask myself:

  1. Do I/we need this? 
  2. Where will it go in our house?


If I can't say, "yes" to both questions, then I don't buy it. This renewed clarity has helped our monthly budget too. Of course, the initial impetus was the "buy, buy, BUY" messages on Instagram, but what the questions do for me is help me be clear about intentional vs. unintentional spending.

Readers, have you ever removed people from your social media feed? If so, did it help your life?
What other strategies have you used to free up time/space/money in your life? Share your experience in the COMMENTS section below.

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